By Melissa Reynolds

Have you ever stumbled upon a forgotten treasure while cleaning out an old closet or a dusty attic? Cleaning up my hard drive is not exactly the same, but I recently rediscovered a style guide I created years ago for an editing class. I revisited those familiar principles of clear and concise writing and soon realized their enduring value for writers of all levels and genres.

Inspired by this rediscovery, I decided to expand and refine those core concepts into a comprehensive guide to equip you with the tools to elevate your prose and captivate your readers. From conquering wordiness to unleashing the power of strong verbs, we’ll explore essential techniques for crafting sentences that are clear, concise, and engaging. Let’s dust off the old document and bring back the staples of writing style. Maybe some part of it will unlock the potential of your words!

Conquer Wordiness: Say More with Less

In the realm of writing, clarity reigns supreme. Every word should serve a purpose, propelling the narrative forward and engaging the reader. Wordiness, however, is a common pitfall that can obscure your ideas and leave your readers feeling bogged down. It’s like trying to navigate a dense forest when a clear path would suffice.

Spotting Wordiness:

• Redundancy: Using unnecessary repetition, like “past history” or “unexpected surprise.”
• Noun-heavy sentences: Overusing nouns instead of strong verbs, leading to static and lifeless prose.
• Over-reliance on “to be” verbs: Forms of “to be” (is, am, are, was, were) can weaken sentences and make them less dynamic.

Let’s examine this example:

Wordy: The alien spacecraft, which was a vessel of enormous size, hovered silently above the bustling metropolis, which was a city teeming with millions of unsuspecting inhabitants.

By streamlining the sentence, we get:

Concise: The enormous alien spacecraft hovered silently above the bustling metropolis, teeming with millions of unsuspecting inhabitants.

This revision is concise and impactful. The new sentence paints a vivid picture without getting bogged down in unnecessary description.

The Fix:

• Choose precise language: Select words that convey your meaning with accuracy and impact. Instead of “walked slowly,” consider “ambled” or “strolled.”
• Favor active voice: Active voice (e.g., “The dragon devoured the knight”) is generally more direct and engaging than passive voice (e.g., “The knight was devoured by the dragon”).
• Eliminate unnecessary qualifiers: Words like “very,” “really,” and “quite” often add little meaning and can be omitted.
• Combine sentences: Look for opportunities to merge short, choppy sentences into more complex ones, using conjunctions and other grammatical tools.

Write with Precision: Achieving Elegance Through Simplicity

Elegance in writing often comes from simplicity. While complex vocabulary can be tempting, impactful writing often uses clear, concise language.

Example:

Verbose: The protagonist, a man burdened by the weight of his existential anxieties and the profound ennui that permeated his existence, embarked upon a journey of self-discovery amidst the labyrinthine complexities of urban life.

Concise: Haunted by existential anxieties and a profound ennui, the protagonist embarked on a journey of self-discovery through the complexities of urban life.

The concise version is more direct and impactful, focusing on the protagonist’s journey.

Spotting Unnecessary Complexity:

• Multisyllabic synonyms: Using unnecessarily long words.
• Verbose phrases: Using phrases when a single word is enough.
• Redundant pairs: Using two words that mean the same thing.
• “Trying too hard”: The writing feels forced or artificial.

The Fix:

• Use simple words and phrases: Communicate clearly and effectively.
• Cut redundancy: Eliminate unnecessary repetition.
• Read your work aloud: Identify sentences that are difficult to read.
• Get feedback: Ask readers for input on conciseness.

Find the Core: Avoiding Misplaced Subjects and Expletive Constructions

Strong sentences are direct. Misplaced subjects or expletive constructions (“it is,” “there are”) can weaken a sentence’s impact.

Example:

Wordy: It is my belief that a fearsome dragon is guarding the ancient treasure.

Concise: A fearsome dragon guards the ancient treasure.

The concise version emphasizes the dragon, creating a more vivid image.

Spotting Mismatched Subjects:

• Mismatched subject and meaning: The sentence’s focus doesn’t align with its grammatical subject.
• Redundant words: Unnecessary words, often with “it is” or “there are.”
• Abstraction: Relying on abstract concepts instead of concrete subjects.

The Fix

• Identify the core message: Determine the sentence’s true subject.
• Move keywords: Bring the true subject to the forefront.
• Remove redundant words: Eliminate unnecessary phrases.
• Avoid “it is” and “there was”: Use more direct sentence structures.

Unleash Verbs: Escape the Nominalization Trap

Nominalizations (verbs turned into nouns) often lead to convoluted sentences that are dense and difficult to read. Nominalizations can also obscure the action and make your writing less engaging.

Example:

Nominalized: The implementation of the new planetary defense strategy was deemed a success by the Galactic Federation.

Verb-driven: The Galactic Federation successfully implemented the new planetary defense strategy.

The verb-driven version is clearer and more direct.

Spotting Nominalizations:

• Look for words ending in -tion, -ment, -al, -ence, -ance, -ing.

The Fix:

• Identify the hidden verb. What action is being described?
• Transform the noun back into a verb. Use the verb in its active form.
• Restructure the sentence. Make the verb the central driving force of the sentence.
  
  

Take Charge: Steering Clear of Passive Voice

Active voice makes your writing more direct and engaging. Passive voice can be vague, wordy, and less powerful and can obscure who performs the action. Perhaps worst of all, it makes your writing feel less confident and engaging.

However, this doesn’t mean that passive voice shouldn’t ever be used. Passive voice can create suspense or dread. Or if the actor is unknown, you have no choice but to use passive voice.

Example:

Passive: The door was slowly opened by a decaying hand.

Active: A decaying hand slowly opened the door.

The active voice focuses on the action and the performer, making it more vivid.

Spotting Passive Voice:

• “To be” verb + past participle: “was eaten,” “is being held,” “were destroyed.”
• “By zombies” test: Insert “by zombies” after your verb to see if your sentence makes sense. If it does, the sentence is most likely passive. Ex: The ball was thrown [by zombies] and rolled down the street out of reach. “By zombies” fits in this sentence so an actor will need to be added.

The Fix:

• Identify the actor: Who is performing the action?
• Make the actor the subject: Put the actor at the beginning of the sentence.
• Rewrite the sentence: Ensure the subject performs the action directly.

Revitalize Your Verbs: A Farewell to “To Be” and Its Cohort

Weak verbs (“is,” “do,” “have”) lack descriptive power. Use stronger, more specific verbs to energize your writing.

Example:

Weak: The dragon was flying slowly through the clouds.

Strong: The dragon soared through the clouds, its wings outstretched like majestic banners.

“Soared” creates a more vivid image than “was flying.”

Spotting Weak Verbs:

• Identify verbs that lack descriptive power: Look for verbs that are general and don’t create a strong image in the reader’s mind.
• Watch out for adverbs propping up weak verbs: If you find yourself using adverbs to add detail, consider whether a stronger verb could do the job alone.
• To be + verbing: If you see a form of ‘to be’ (was, is) paired with a verb ending in -ing, it’s a clue that you may need to pick a stronger verb.

The Fix:

• Brainstorm stronger verbs: Think of verbs that are more specific and descriptive for the action you’re trying to convey.
• Consult a thesaurus: Use a thesaurus to find synonyms that are more vivid and expressive.
• Consider the context: Choose verbs that fit the tone and style of your writing.

Embrace Your Style

As writers, we wield the power of language to transport readers to other worlds, evoke emotions, and spark new ideas. By mastering the art of style, we can hone our craft and ensure that our words resonate with clarity and precision. This guide has provided you with a toolkit of essential techniques to elevate your writing. From embracing simplicity to unleashing the power of strong verbs, these principles will serve you well, no matter your genre or experience level.

Remember, writing is a journey of continuous learning and refinement. Embrace these stylistic tools, experiment with them, and discover how they can transform your prose. As you embark on your writing adventures, may your words flow with elegance, clarity, and impact. Happy writing!