By Patricia Hopper Patteson
The format of a query letter should look much like a business letter. If it’s attached to your query, then you include things like the date, your address, agency address (if they give it) and salutation. For example, address the agent as Dear Agent (if you don’t know the agent’s name) or Dear Mr. ?, or Ms. ? if you know their name. If you’re querying them in the body of an email, then start the query with Mr. or Ms. Whomever. I’ve come across query forms that agents are using now instead of attached letters, others are asking for the query letters within the body of the email.
Paragraph 1
Start the query by requesting to agent to consider your novel. Give the name of the novel, genre, and word count. You can add a couple more sentences that explains your novel in a nutshell. For example, I have two novels that I think are far enough along for me to send out queries. I still may share random chapters with the group. I’ve shared the first chapter of both novels. So a sentence I would add to describe my novel “A Change of Place” is: “Chara Madigan, Seamus Keane, and Neil Delri are headed on separate tracks until their lives intersect and destiny derails their intended destinations.”
For Tailor Designer I’ll add this sentence: “Saise Richardson, a fledging fashion designer, gets caught up in an international plot to capture a serial killer after a customer wearing one of her designs is murdered.” What this does is capture the plot (and possibly the characters) in a one sentence summary.
It’s not necessary to share that you are querying to multiple agents or publishers at this point. If an agent or publisher asks to see the whole manuscript, I would divulge that I’m sending out simultaneous queries if they request that information. Most agents and publishers expect that you’re doing this. But a few get picky about it.
To recap:
- Use a business style format when attaching the query letter. Use just the salutation (agent, editor, publisher, or agency name) when submitting the query letter in an email, and in electronic query forms.
- Start with a request asking the agent or publisher to consider your novel
- Provide name of the novel, genre, and word count.
- Add a sentence or two to describe the essence of the novel.
Paragraph 2
Include the hook of the novel. This is the most important part of the query letter. Your one sentence introduction will capture the agent’s attention. Here you try to reel in the agent to take a closer look at your story. It’s like an elevator pitch (the time it takes an elevator will reach its destination). This is the premise of your novel and consists of several sentences. You don’t tell the end of the story. You try to end the paragraph with a cliffhanger that will entice the agent or publisher to read a sample of the manuscript or the entire novel. This is where the agent will evaluate the book’s marketability. Or at least raise their interest to want to read the novel.
To recap:
- Reel in the agent with the hook of the book
- This is the premise of your story
- Don’t give away the end of the book
- Target this section to entice the agent or publisher to assess the novel’s marketability
Paragraph 3
This is where you tell the agent about yourself. Give them details about your experience. If you don’t have many literary achievements, and your education relates to the novel, use that to show you are the best person to write your novel. You can also list things about yourself that will promote the novel. Like attending writers’ conferences and being a member of a writers’ group like Morgantown Writers. If your novel is in the same vein as a popular author, point that out. For example, if your novel resembles Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, then you can add that you studied Religious Studies in college. I’ll pick on Greenland here because it’s been in the news. Let’s say, for example, you studied geology and went to Greenland to learn about precious minerals up close, and your novel is set in Greenland, this will show you have physical knowledge of the setting in your novel. Or if your novel is fantasy, talk about world building and how you envision it.
I’m for and against mentioning book titles here that are like your novel. If you know about the agents taste in books and they are similar to yours, then by all means query them. But if you’re not sure about what they read or are looking for, I’d tread with caution. It might turn out to be a case where agent takes mystery queries, but what they really get excited about is fantasy. So, if an agent includes the books they read, and they are in the same vein as your novel, then you’re on solid ground. It’ll raise your chances of getting their attention. For example, if the agent’s favorite genre is Rom Com, and the agent mentions their favorite book is P.S. I Love You. If our novel resembles How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, it’s still likely they’ll pay attention to your query.
If you’re a new writer, and don’t have any literary credits, you can get the agent’s attention in other ways. An example would be if you climbed Mount Everest and the agent is an avid mountain climber, you’ll likely strike a connection.
This is not meant to discourage you, but to help you understand rejections. An agent may love your novel, but if it doesn’t have the marketability in areas the agent can successfully get it published, then they’ll reject it. if your novel is in a genre that doesn’t the agent is only tepid about, it’ll get a rejection. There may be times when you’ll come close, but you may never know it, if all you receive is a rejection. And even if you do get an agent, it’s not a done deal that your novel will get published. The agent may love the novel, but the publisher may not. Sometimes you may receive a rejection if the agent happens to look at your novel when they’re tired or stressed. Keep in mind too that agents already have a full list of clients, and may be only looking for something extraordinary. Check out new agents, because they are starting to build their lists.
To recap:
- Tell the agent about yourself.
- If you don’t have a lot of literary credits, list areas about yourself that pertain to your novel.
- Try to query agents whose main genre is closest your novel
- Keep your query to one page
- If you have a social media presence, be sure and mention this.
Examples
This is the query letter I used for Kilpara, which was my first novel. I’m including it so you can see the different between my letters when I first started vs. the letter I use now.
Address and date
Dear____ :
Kilpara (80,000 words) is the first in a two-book, post Civil War family saga that journeys from Maryland to Lough Corrib, Ireland. It fits the general fiction category including literary, historical, multicultural, romance, generational, and women’s fiction.
Ellis O’Donovan is drawn away from his bachelor life in Baltimore when his mother summons him to Stonebridge House, the family estate near Hagerstown, Maryland. He seldom visits the homestead anymore, not since his younger brother was killed in the Civil War, followed by his father’s passing two years later. He returns home to find consumption slowly claiming his mother’s life. Another surprise awaits him when she expresses her determination to return to Ireland, her native homeland, and later be buried at Kilpara, the three-hundred-year-old estate once owned by O’Donovans before punitive taxes forced them into exile.
Conflict awaits Ellis and his mother upon their arrival in Ireland when they discover Lord Robert Purcenell, now owner of Kilpara, has no intention of granting the O’Donovans a resting place in their ancestral estate. Fueled by indignation, Ellis sets aside his plans to return immediately to America after his mother is safely delivered into his aunt’s care, and instead schemes to outmatch Purcenell in a horse-racing contest. The wager is Kilpara against two thousand pounds. Complicating matters Ellis meets and falls in love with Morrigan Purcenell, daughter of the Englishman who scavenged Kilpara for a pittance and who now refuses Ellis’ mother her dying wish.
I am a native of Dublin, Ireland, living in West Virginia. My fiction and non-fiction have been published in the U.S. and Ireland, most notably in Woman’s World, Amore Magazine, and Woman’s Way. I was awarded the West Virginia University Butts-Sturm Award for Creative Writing, along with other literary awards in fiction and non-fiction. My shorter work has appeared in magazines, reviews, and the anthologies. I earned an M.A. and B.A. from West Virginia University.
I will be happy to send along sample chapters of my finished manuscript, or the complete manuscript, for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Cordially,Patricia Hopper
Phone:
Email address:
This next letter is an example of the type of query letter I use now. Both letters are similar in structure, but you’ll notice in my newer letters that I limit to the explanation of the novel to one paragraph. I also have more experience in publishing now, so the section highlighting my achievements is larger.
Date
Name
Address
Dear____:I wish to submit A Change of Place for consideration. A Change of Place (approximately 88,000 words) is a mainstream rom-com novel about a chance meeting between two unlikely people who live continents apart.
Chara Madigan lives in Dublin, Ireland, and has spent her life dreaming of marrying her childhood friend Seamus Keane. Her hopes are dashed when Seamus consents to an exchange professorship for half a semester at a university in America. His casual departure to the U.S. leaves Chara wondering if he will ever fall in love with her. Neil Deltri, a professor from Pittsburgh, U.S. is committed to marrying his fiancée until she jilts him in favor of his best friend. With nothing to lose, Neil agrees to exchange places with Seamus Keane in Ireland for half a semester. Neil, Chara, and Seamus are headed on separate tracks until their lives intersect, and destiny derails their intended destination.I am a native of Dublin, Ireland living in West Virginia. I earned an M.A. and B.A. from West Virginia University. My fiction and non-fiction have been published in the U.S. and Ireland, most notably in magazines, reviews, and anthologies. My published three-part historical trilogy about an Irish-American family begins with Kilpara in 1866. Corrib Red in 1885, and Aunjel in 1895. The trilogy received positive reviews from Midwest Review, Manhattan Review, and the Historical Novel Society.
In addition, I have published standalone romance novels titled Hearts Apart, Home In My Heart, Cupid’s Strings, and Second Chance Christmas. The Historical Writers of America invited me as a guest speaker at their 2016 Historical Writers of America conference, and I was a presenter at the 2019 West Virginia Writers annual conference. I am an annual guest speaker at several Irish festivals, including Dublin, Ohio; Pittsburgh, PA; and Baltimore, MD.Attached are the first fifty pages of A Change of Place for your perusal. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Cordially,
Patricia Hopper
Email: pattesonpatricia@gmail.com
Website: https://www.patriciahopperpatteson.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patricia.patteson
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/PatriciaPatteso
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/patriciahopper
You Tube: https://youtu.be/AdlBm0mGhRg
Another key element in my newer letters is my social media and online presence. Even if you don’t have a lot of published works, you can still craft a website and set it up as you might a portfolio. This will help agents easily access more examples of your work and, if you have social media, you can show that you have an audience.
Further Resources
Submission Guidelines – P.S. Literary Agency
Claire Harris – The Official Manuscript Wish List Website
This is the ‘Wish List’ site that I like to use to check out agents: https://www.manuscriptwishlist.com/find-agentseditors/search/
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